Apron Strings

This childbearing business is rough stuff. The biological, spiritual, and emotional all seem to get magnified and channeled into such intense feelings that range from longing and angst to sorrow and heartache to hope and joy. More often than not you're dealing with several conflicting emotions at once. One of my favorite songs is "Apron Strings" by Everything but the Girl. It's amazing to me how it will elicit all of the emotions I just listed, plus a lot more, depending on your current childbearing circumstances and how you feel about them. Having gotten pregnant and almost immediately lost the baby (in December)and then having several family members have misscarriages the next month and now being newly pregnant again, it has certainly run the gamut of emotions for me. But, I suppose that's what a good song does, right? Here are the lyrics (I added the song too if you want to have a listen. It's the version from She's Having a Baby Soundtrack.):

Apron Strings,
Hanging, empty, crazy things
My body tells me,
I want someone to tie to my lonely apron strings.

Apron Strings,
Waiting for you pretty things
that I could call you
I want someone to tie to my lonely apron strings.

Could look just like me when I was young.
I wonder as the days unwind,
Will he have your eyes or mine?
Then I wake up to my. . .

Apron Strings
Cold and lonely, for time brings
Thoughts that only will be quiet
when someone clings to my apron strings.

And I'll be perfect in my own way--
When you cry I will be there,
I'll sing to you and comb your hair.
All your troubles, I will share.

For Apron Strings can be used for other things
than what they're meant for,
And you'd be happy wrapped in my apron strings.
You'd be happy wrapped in my apron strings.


In a fun, natural moment with all of our children on our bed, we told them about the upcoming baby. They are very happy, but it has made us a little more sober. We know that we're not out of the woods yet and now there's more at stake. This isn't just my baby. It's their baby too. And if it's lost, they will also feel the sadness of it. It's not as if I could hide it, though. For crying out loud, I'm 6 weeks and I had to go out today in FULL Maternity garb. I guess I could have just told them I was gaining weight. They would have believed it with all of the food I've been chowing. My son wanted to know why my stomach had to be so big if the baby was so small. Hmm. Good question. I would like to know that, too! So, we are happy with every day and I just keep kissin' up on all of the babies I already have. Here are a few pictures of them:

Um, never mind. Apparently I have found my digital camera but have now lost the cord thingy to hook it up to the computer. Hubby is asleep and that's not the sort of question you would want to wake him up about. As soon as I find it, I'll add some pictures in!

Communication

When I was in 6th grade I had a pen pal.

I now have:

my home phone
a cell phone
2 email addresses
this blog
MySpace page
Facebook page
Twitter (amycrochet)

And we're worried about the government invading our privacy?? Sheesh, we're doing it to ourselves! They don't need special spying software--just a laptop.

I let the whole world know about my life, my thoughts, my beliefs and then I go to the doctor's office and fill out a million stupid HIIPA (sp?) forms. For some reason it just seemed funny to me today. Ironic.

Well, I better go. I need to check my caller ID and email and update my status on Facebook. Call me!

New Years Confessions, Not Resolutions

Making a confession feels almost as good as making a resolution, but without all the work. (Try it this year for a nice change of pace.) Here are some of my New Years Confessions:

*Against every parenting principle I hold dear, I recently paid my 3 year old a quarter to put on her jacket.

*I keep my mismatched socks in a big bag. Last week I went through the bag to make matches and made a new record--FORTY-NINE Pairs of socks!

*Sometimes I buy candy and hide it so I don't have to share.

*I think Dumb and Dumber is one of the funniest movies ever and that disturbs me.

*I don't iron anything, ever. That's what a dryer is for. My husband recently asked if we could please buy an ironing board so he could iron his dress shirts.

*When I was having my son, Zachary, I hit a nurse. In my defense, she deserved it.

*I have blamed broken things on the children.

*When I was in grade school, I kicked a girl in the shins. Hard. When she went to tell the teacher, my friend Annie lied and said I didn't do it. And who would believe that sweet little Amy would do such a thing?

*I once shattered a toilet tank cover at Wingers. Long story, very embarrassing.

*Once when I was in college, I drove my car to school, then forgot I drove and walked home. The next day when I woke up and went to the parking lot, I thought someone had stolen my car. Plus, I got a ticket for overnight parking.

I found my digital camera, but now the battery is dead. So as soon as I get a battery I have some pictures of all the projects I've been working on.

Quote of the week: "I'm not giving you any more food until you put your pannies on!"