Apron Strings

This childbearing business is rough stuff. The biological, spiritual, and emotional all seem to get magnified and channeled into such intense feelings that range from longing and angst to sorrow and heartache to hope and joy. More often than not you're dealing with several conflicting emotions at once. One of my favorite songs is "Apron Strings" by Everything but the Girl. It's amazing to me how it will elicit all of the emotions I just listed, plus a lot more, depending on your current childbearing circumstances and how you feel about them. Having gotten pregnant and almost immediately lost the baby (in December)and then having several family members have misscarriages the next month and now being newly pregnant again, it has certainly run the gamut of emotions for me. But, I suppose that's what a good song does, right? Here are the lyrics (I added the song too if you want to have a listen. It's the version from She's Having a Baby Soundtrack.):

Apron Strings,
Hanging, empty, crazy things
My body tells me,
I want someone to tie to my lonely apron strings.

Apron Strings,
Waiting for you pretty things
that I could call you
I want someone to tie to my lonely apron strings.

Could look just like me when I was young.
I wonder as the days unwind,
Will he have your eyes or mine?
Then I wake up to my. . .

Apron Strings
Cold and lonely, for time brings
Thoughts that only will be quiet
when someone clings to my apron strings.

And I'll be perfect in my own way--
When you cry I will be there,
I'll sing to you and comb your hair.
All your troubles, I will share.

For Apron Strings can be used for other things
than what they're meant for,
And you'd be happy wrapped in my apron strings.
You'd be happy wrapped in my apron strings.


In a fun, natural moment with all of our children on our bed, we told them about the upcoming baby. They are very happy, but it has made us a little more sober. We know that we're not out of the woods yet and now there's more at stake. This isn't just my baby. It's their baby too. And if it's lost, they will also feel the sadness of it. It's not as if I could hide it, though. For crying out loud, I'm 6 weeks and I had to go out today in FULL Maternity garb. I guess I could have just told them I was gaining weight. They would have believed it with all of the food I've been chowing. My son wanted to know why my stomach had to be so big if the baby was so small. Hmm. Good question. I would like to know that, too! So, we are happy with every day and I just keep kissin' up on all of the babies I already have. Here are a few pictures of them:

Um, never mind. Apparently I have found my digital camera but have now lost the cord thingy to hook it up to the computer. Hubby is asleep and that's not the sort of question you would want to wake him up about. As soon as I find it, I'll add some pictures in!